• I have slowly been winning this routine battle with depression lately. I keep forcing myself to do even the most mundane tasks that my body is telling me not to. The constant battle my brain is fighting is a bit too much at times. Yeah, I have thought about the various medications but I would rather not. It is under control to the extent that I am not suicidal nor am I harming anyone else. I am just down. My brain feels sad even though everything is going well in my life. I just have to push though. Get the right vitamins and nutrients, eat well, and get sun when it’s out.
• ‘Distracted by Hunger’ would be a cool band name. I had this idea at one point in time to write down all of the cool random phrases that sounded like awesome band names and then turn it into some sort of piece of art. I think I may end up doing that. This will be the first one on the list.
• If you missed my Tumblr Valentine Post yesterday, here is a recap…
  
  I have been thinking, there are a lot of ladies and gents on here that don’t have a Valentine (and people who do have Valentines that really would like more). So I got to thinking, who would like to be my Tumblr Valentine. No I am not talking about the lame ‘Oh hey I post something and you post something’ type Tumblr Valentine. I am meaning an honest to goodness Valentine. I will send my valentine a card and possibly a small gift. Now as much as I love being extremely nice to people, I do not want to get stuck buying and sending Valentines to a hell of a lot of people so I am limiting it to 4 people.First 4 people, or if I have more 4 people chosen at random. This will be open until the end of the week just kik me and let me know or send me a message. At the end of the week I will choose my Valentines. Then I will message them for their addresses and send out the gifts. So my question is… Who wants to be my Valentine?
• I have almost all of my rearranging and cleaning done from my ‘Uncluttering’ that I said I was doing last week or so. Once again, it’s just the battle between Nate and well for lack of better words, Nate.
• Is 10pm too late to eat something like a steak or maybe waffles? I am hungry and have a bunch of leftovers that need eaten.

I want to make you feel better,
About the bet that you’ve made,
The bet you’ve placed on the lonely boys from the Keystone state.
Was it worth it?
It’s only gonna get better.
I think we’re gonna be safe,
If we can keep holding on and on to hope for this long.

What you want - The Starting Line

I am doing well. Working hard, watching time pass until 5pm so I can go home and finish up housework I neglected yesterday.

Why are you anon?

Why hello there. How are you today?

I hope everyone’s Monday is going well so far. I have been busy, so busy I haven’t had a chance to post on here. *GASP!*

Many of you missed my Tumblr Valentine thing I have going on, check it out here. I’ll be promoting that until the end of the week.

Hope you all have a splendid day and if you all ever want someone to chat about random shit with my ask box and KiKMessenger Box (nrundio) are always open.

Fear is the path to the dark side… fear leads to anger… anger leads to hate… hate leads to suffering.

Fear. It is one of mankind’s greatest weaknesses. It can turn even the bravest man into someone who doubts himself. Fear seeps into our minds like fog rolling in on a dark night surrounding our every thought. It encapsulates us until even the littlest things turn into giant balls of doubt. Fear makes us weak, it erodes us from the inside until there is nothing left.

Fear comes from within. Being tired can cause fear. Unhealthiness and self doubt can cause fear. Past experiences that leave an impact instill in us fear. Fearful of the past, fearful of making the same mistakes. Fear causes paranoia. Fear can rip apart even the most solid foundation until there is nothing but a rotting shell underneath.

Fear…
Fear will destroy us all.

Let’s keep each other company, feel free to hit me up on KiK: nrundio or hit up my ask box.

So I have been thinking, there are a lot of ladies and gents on here that don’t have a Valentine (and people who do have Valentines that really would like more). So I got to thinking, who would like to be my Tumblr Valentine. No I am not talking about the lame ‘Oh hey I post something and you post something’ type Tumblr Valentine. I am meaning an honest to goodness Valentine. I will send my valentine a card and possibly a small gift. Now as much as I love being extremely nice to people, I do not want to get stuck buying and sending Valentines to a hell of a lot of people so I am limiting it to 4 people.

First 4 people, or if I have more 4 people chosen at random. This will be open until the end of the week just kik me and let me know or send me a message. At the end of the week I will choose my Valentines. Then I will message them for their addresses and send out the gifts.

So my question is… Who wants to be my Valentine?

Of all of the places in the world, I didn’t expect the grocery store to have Star Wars Action figures. Fortunately for me, they did. I snagged this awesome Chewbacca (with firing bowcaster!) when I was looking for a Matchbox car to get the TinyTot*. I am absolutely in love with the new 2012 packaging style.

*Everytime I go to the store I have to pick up the TinyTot a matchbox car. It has been our thing since I returned home from University.

The Lumberjack

Self Portrait - January 29th, 2012

You Won’t Know - Brand New

This has been stuck in my head since about 20 minutes ago when I woke up. Therefore it is today’s Song of the Day post. I think I am going to get in a habit of posting Song of the Day posts.

Since I am stuck at home alone tonight and if you are reading this, there are chances you are stuck at home too. Let’s keep each other company, feel free to hit me up on KiK: nrundio or hit up my ask box.

Plans for tonight were cancelled… Welp… looks like another lonely night in North Central PA…

Nothing worries me more than the inevitable silence. The eerie quiet that sweeps over oneself when they realize they are truly alone. Those solemn moments in time when the only sound is the hum emanating from some electronic device or the sound of nature outside.

Those unfortunate moments when it seems like the world has all but forgotten about you. Everything becomes incredibly quiet. The phone is silent, receiving neither calls nor texts. The internet makes you feel like a topiary standing silent in a crowded shopping mall while everyone passes you by. Those moments when you feel you could shout at the top of your lungs but no one would hear you.

It is within those moments where our minds begin to build the incredible sense of doubt that comes with alone feelings. Inevitably, the doubt twists and turns into feelings of rejection as you sit wondering why it is possible to feel this way. The mind stumbles and trips over itself as questions begin to form. The mind parses over inquiries similar to ‘Does anyone really care about me’ and ‘What would everyone do if I wasn’t around, would anyone notice?’ begin to take hold.

It is the darkest times in our minds, the silent times. I only wish I knew how to cure them.

Everyone has ambitions, whether we officially announce them to the world or we keep them inside or quiet minds, we have them. Our deepest, most intimate desires. Goals to achieve in our personal quest for happiness. I started out about 25 days or so ago with the desire to post my 2012 goals list, however it was incomplete. It will forever be incomplete until the final moments in the year. My goals list for 2012 will be edited with subtractions and additions, it will have tasks completed and desires met, but it will be forever incomplete… As of this moment, here is my (partial) goals list for 2012…

• Take TinyTot to Disney World in Florida for his 4th Birthday*
• Attend 2-3 MLB Games (including 1 Spring Training game)**
• Visit Friends
• Camping/Hiking/Fishing - Things I haven’t done in a long time
• Buy a Limited Edition Star Wars Themed XBox 360/Kinect Bundle
• One New Tattoo
• Buy a new Camera
• Visit Places on my list of places to visit:
  Crayola factory, Pez Factory, Cherry Springs Dark Sky Preserve, Please Touch Museum, Pro Football Hall of Fame, and more…
• Purchase a Tailored Suit
• Read More
• Learn how to play Dungeons & Dragons and the Star Wars RPG.
• Attend at least one NFL game
• Attend at least one concert
• Build things - Build Gadgets, Destroy things and build new things, Tinker, work with wood, etc…
• Explore New Places/Have Adventures
• Paint/Draw/Make More Art
• Take more pictures
• Explore cooking/baking further, explore new foods
• Learn new things every day

* Our Disney World Trip is actually purchased and planned for the 2nd week in March. It’s an early Birthday Present for the TinyTot.
** We will be attending a Spring Training game or two while we are in Florida.

I am forever open to ideas/ suggestions when it comes to my lists. If you can think of something I would absolutely like, let me know. I am open to trying new things, having new experiences, etc.

What are some of your ambitions for 2012 and/or is one of them meet me in person?